Monthly Archives: March 2014





Picture courtesy: Dialectic Chaos by Satania Digital Art (

The world is a chaotic place. There are expectations, obligations and responsibilities. There are needs and wants, yours and those of others. Emotions flying high and low, hitting you from all angles. Making sense of it all, sorting through it and prioritizing is a challenge. Learning how to protect yourself and stay grounded can be an extremely daunting task in this world today.

Some people protect themselves from the madness by defense, building walls and shutting down. Others go on the offense and hit hard before the chaos of our world can impact them. Either one is a way to protect the vulnerabilities of our heart and soul. Both may be manageable in the short term- but both will ultimately have dire consequences in the long term- as both require holding on to your struggles and don’t allow the relevant emotions to release.

So, how do you sort and prioritize through the madness that life blows our way? How do you ensure it doesn’t build up and smack you in the face when you least expect it down the road?

People often talk about values. Values can help you define your priorities in life. They can help you define what really does matters and what does not. There is no right and wrong, there is just what resonates deep inside your soul. In the world of intense energy flying all around us, we are all susceptible to people who are angry, needy or pushy. We find ourselves pulled down by the negativity of those emotions. Finding your values and concretely planting them into the center of your life is core; and then using the self-care tools available to you to stay grounded to those values. So each time you are hit with toxic emotions and situations; you take a step back, shackle yourself to your grounding principles, and begin enacting the tools to stay connected to what really matters to you.

All of us experience stress. How we deal with it is what keeps us centered and grounded to our values and priorities. Here are a few ideas to keep you sane in this mad world…

1- Just breathe. Yes, simply just breathe. Stop what you are doing, take a mental break and just breathe. Breathe deeply and slowly. You would be surprised how often we forget to breath and as the world becomes more and more overwhelming we take shorter, shallower breaths without even realizing it. All that oxygen reaching your brain and every cell in your body will help clear you.

2- Express yourself. Shutting down and pushing the feelings aside just buries them deep inside. Communicate through whatever expression is right for you…to get the emotions out. Whether through keeping a journal and writing to get them out of your head or by finding someone to talk to that will listen and acknowledge your feelings. It is not about complaining; it is about getting the fog out of your head, whether with a close friend, your partner or a counselor. If you are not the talking type, then scream, cry, paint, listen to music and sing along with it….anything to express your feelings and just GET IT OUT. Ultimately, there is nothing more impactful than talking it out. To start with, just find a way to express your emotions and don’t hold them in.

3- Move your body. Yes just move it. Go for a walk, take a jog. Go for a swim, do some yoga, weights, cardio….whatever works for you. At a minimum, stretch. The key is to move your muscles, joints and your body any way you can. Feel the movement to your core…and yes while you are at it go back to number one and just breathe.

4- Get out to the elements. I don’t know what it is about the sun shining on your face and the smell of fresh grass. Or the feel of a forest air, the snowflakes falling or ocean waves crashing against the shore. Whichever way, getting out amongst the elements is one of the most comforting feelings. Whether it is the fresh air or the earth beneath your feet that somehow helps bring perspective, but just get outside. Slow down as you get out to nature and take a moment to appreciate the elements. Getting out to nature will force you to mellow out and if you remember to breathe, you may have the extra soothing benefit of a whiff of nearby wild lavender or pine when you least expect it.

5- Surround yourself with others of similar values. Remember the whole value and principle concept? Well, when the going gets tough is the most critical time to surround yourself with others of similar values. Is your faith something you value? Then surround yourself with your faith community or others who can share in your spirituality; whichever core belief you have is nothing short of the comfort you need during times of intense stress. These are the people who will be your support group, encourage you, and share in your knowledge that you are strong and will get through whatever life throws your way. If a core value is family or friends; surround yourself with them. They will be your rocks.

6- Reflect. Self-reflection…whether through formal meditation or moments of silence and observation, this is the key in connecting to your values and regaining composure so you can get back on track and focus on your priorities. Use your journal to write down thoughts of reflection or just sit in peace amongst the elements and enjoy the silence while you meditate on what truly matters and the bigger picture of life. It will only be via reflection that you can get clear on what grounds you and what this life is all about for YOU. What really matters to you? What are your beliefs, your principles, what do YOU value???

7- Take a break. There are times when you just have to get away from the distractions and all the stresses of life so you can think, reflect and well…just breathe. Sometimes just taking a drive out of your area or getting away for a couple days (if you can’t  take a vacation and truly go away), will make a huge difference.

I am sure there is so much more we can all do to manage through the stress, chaos and madness of life coming at us. Knowing what is important to you in life is core, so as you get bombarded with the madness of life you can easily release the little stuff. The stuff that is just surface and really doesn’t matter in the bigger scheme of it all. Your time and energy is precious, so focus it on the right stuff. Only you can figure out what the right stuff is….and I can only hope the above tools will provide you with some small solace of peace.




Sometimes you have to go with the feeling in your gut, your intuition will always guide you on the path that is right for you. Great post! (Photo credit

Hertha Wolff-Arend | Be A Woman & Act Like One | Paso Robles Business Coaching

I consider myself to be a very intuitive woman. I often make decisions without checking all the facts.  I decide on what I sense is right, which is mostly a fast response without methodically evaluating pros and cons.  Enemies of this approach might call this “too emotional” and believe that due diligence is needed before acting.  I call this using your intuition.

There is truth in both viewpoints and I don’t want to deny the necessity of collecting facts on a matter or problem before resolving it.  There are many situations in life when due diligence seems to make sense, but still the final decision is often based on your unconscious mind known as your senses, gut feeling, or intuition.  Let me give you a couple of examples, perhaps similar to your own experiences.

When my husband and I went house hunting, we knew whether a house would be right…

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Truth. And so it is…



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I recently deactivated my Facebook. Honestly, I don’t know if I will ever return. I was loyal to Facebook since 2007. Oh yes, I enjoyed watching the lives of my friends, some old…some new. It was fun, I thought. The lives of my online friends took a life of their own. I knew where they ate, how often they traveled, and all the fun they had. Mostly, I saw how blessed they said they felt. How IMPORTANT it was for them to share how blessed and fortunate they were with others. Don’t get me wrong, I miss some of my online friends. Watching their kids grow up, watching their lives unfold as distance and the daily craziness of life kept us apart from sharing these joys in real life. Recently, though, I learned a valuable lesson. I believe I already knew it deep inside, but then it was as if the fog lifted and I saw clearly through the clouds. People show you only what they want you to see. Most people want you to believe their lives are fabulous, close to perfection, pure happiness and joy. People love Facebook because it gives them full control to paint their lives as they want others to see them. And then the likes and the comments start coming…the more the better, just reinforcing the need for reassurance that their life IS fabulous. It is not hard to tell who these folks are.  Maybe at one point I had those moments too. Then I had a hard lesson taught to me. I learned that some people will go to an elaborate extent to show how fortunate they are. But you know what? For some of these people, it just is not real. It’s a way to make themselves feel better about themselves. A way to say “Look world! I AM HAPPY! I have everything I could ever want! My life is perfect!”

NEWSFLASH – no one person’s life is perfect. And if you have to make a point to say it so much, it certainly is not. People have joy and sadness, pain, hurt and happiness. They have moments. Moments of experiences that elicit feelings of joy, fulfillment and fortune. Is that real life 100% of the time? How often do we hear people say they just want to be happy, that they just want to be fulfilled. Yet, how can you be happy and fulfilled if you have not experienced the opposite; the duality of life? Life is balance. Yin and yang, light and dark, male and female. So goes the same for emotions. How can you ever truly experience true joy and happiness if you have not felt deep pain and suffering? How can life be in balance if the experience of the duality is not equal? Some people have an abundance of one or the other. Those, for example, who have everything they want in life handed to them, take it for granted unless they have felt the depth of the opposite. Success? How does one even know and comprehend what success is without failure? Maybe in theory, but not in reality. People have shared with me that Facebook makes them feel bad about themselves. They see the good fortunes of others and feel sad, lonely, empty…because they don’t have the same fortunes of fulfillment as others make a point to show off.

So my friends, don’t be fooled. A story is a story. A good story is meant to elicit emotions. Facebook is about storytelling. In short snippets, photos and emoticons. Ultimately, it is still just a story. 

Blogging speaks to me, because the people on here share joy and they share pain. They contemplate life, success and pick apart the many facets of life for what they truly are. So I thank my new community for giving me an outlet. An outlet to be real and sincere. Most importantly, I learned a valuable lesson…people will show you only what they want you to see. They will show you what they want to be, not necessarily what they actually are. Their lives in real life are much different than on Facebook. They all have their personal demons to fight, as all of us do. We are all imperfect, but that is what being human means. Experiencing the duality of emotions so when we do have moments of peace, joy and success….we can truly honor and appreciate the intensity and realness. YOU and your life IS beautiful, with all the opposites, the variances, the dualities of emotions and experiences…because it’s real, because it’s LIFE. So live it – out there – amongst the elements, amongst reality. Don’t ever, EVER forget that.


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