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I am taking a leap of faith. Correction….a SMART leap of faith. Meaning I totally and completely understand the risks associated with such a leap and am willing to own them.

We have all had our trust broken at one time or another. We have all been betrayed. Certain betrayals are worse than others. Some are personal…deeply personal of love and faith, while others are of money, workplace and jealousy. Ultimately, in my book, all betrayal is about pure selfishness. It really doesn’t matter the reason for the betrayal. What matters is deciding whether the person who deceived you is worth discarding or saving. By worth saving, I am referring to the saving of the relationship or partnership. Do you walk away from the experience untrustworthy to all? Do you build walls around yourself to protect your heart and livelihood? Do you allow that one person to take away all that makes you human, with all the possibilities of your future happiness?

Building emotional walls and putting up your guard only hurts one person…YOU. The other person does not feel the pain of deceit and the multitude of emotions that you experience. They may possibly feel guilt and remorse, but feelings of betrayal are a completely different story. The hate and fear you feel does not hurt the other person to the extent it hurts you- it is like a knife in your gut that just keeps turning and turning. It hurts YOU and holds YOU back from experiencing the beauty of selflessness, of giving your heart away in passion, of taking risks that can result in joy, personal development and progress.

Therefore, as scary and painful as it is- how about releasing the hate? Let it go, release the negative energy so the knife is no longer shackled to you and ceases doing more damage. Overcoming the fear and the feelings of vulnerability is a long road entangled within the path of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean you condone the actions of deceit, it does not mean you shall forget what happened. Forgiveness is for you and only you, so you can begin healing and moving on. If you have determined the relationship or partnership is worth saving because it is special, it has a deep meaningful history for you, it has more advantages then disadvantages, or simply because it was a stupid STUPID selfish mistake riddled now with remorse and regret, then you must be willing to take a smart leap of faith. It will be scary, and you will feel naked inside and out; you will question yourself and be bogged down with what others may think of you (who cares what others think, this is your life NOT theirs). You will be terrified because there won’t be a safety net to catch you. Yet, if it is worth it, you must take that leap of faith. You may find that you grow wings along the way and you don’t need the safety net after all.

What if it happens again, you ask? What if I experience betrayal again? Yes, it’s a risk, but it may be worth taking. And one day you will want to look back and know that you tried all you could. This act of strength and selflessness will assure you that the other person has not destroyed your ability to trust and believe in others. That you have not lost your faith in people, as imperfect as they, as we, all are.

So, there. I am taking a leap of faith…a smart leap of faith. And I will do the work, in full comprehension of the risk I am taking. Nothing in life worth fighting for is without its risks and challenges. I can live within the confines of my safety, my own prison of pain and loss. However, that’s not living at all, its called maintaining and barely functioning. And therefore, be it as it may, I CHOOSE to live….TRULY live. I am strong, powerful and only I can own my life and its decisions.

Here I go…wish me luck as I leap, and here is hoping I grow wings…..

About ATrueU

I am a GenXer and a Vice President, Human Resources for a marketing agency in Irvine, California. I have almost 20 years of experience in talent management and I love my job. I believe my purpose - in addition to overcoming some of my personal life lessons-is to encourage personal reflection and help others to find their path and passion. Do what you love, and you will love what you do. I oversee an award winning HR, Recruiting and Training Department (2013 American Business Award Gold for "HR Department of the Year") which provides me the opportunity to work with talented, insightful and amazing people every day.

Posted on March 3, 2014, in Personal Growth and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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