LIVING IN REALITY
Posted by ATrueU
I recently deactivated my Facebook. Honestly, I don’t know if I will ever return. I was loyal to Facebook since 2007. Oh yes, I enjoyed watching the lives of my friends, some old…some new. It was fun, I thought. The lives of my online friends took a life of their own. I knew where they ate, how often they traveled, and all the fun they had. Mostly, I saw how blessed they said they felt. How IMPORTANT it was for them to share how blessed and fortunate they were with others. Don’t get me wrong, I miss some of my online friends. Watching their kids grow up, watching their lives unfold as distance and the daily craziness of life kept us apart from sharing these joys in real life. Recently, though, I learned a valuable lesson. I believe I already knew it deep inside, but then it was as if the fog lifted and I saw clearly through the clouds. People show you only what they want you to see. Most people want you to believe their lives are fabulous, close to perfection, pure happiness and joy. People love Facebook because it gives them full control to paint their lives as they want others to see them. And then the likes and the comments start coming…the more the better, just reinforcing the need for reassurance that their life IS fabulous. It is not hard to tell who these folks are. Maybe at one point I had those moments too. Then I had a hard lesson taught to me. I learned that some people will go to an elaborate extent to show how fortunate they are. But you know what? For some of these people, it just is not real. It’s a way to make themselves feel better about themselves. A way to say “Look world! I AM HAPPY! I have everything I could ever want! My life is perfect!”
NEWSFLASH – no one person’s life is perfect. And if you have to make a point to say it so much, it certainly is not. People have joy and sadness, pain, hurt and happiness. They have moments. Moments of experiences that elicit feelings of joy, fulfillment and fortune. Is that real life 100% of the time? How often do we hear people say they just want to be happy, that they just want to be fulfilled. Yet, how can you be happy and fulfilled if you have not experienced the opposite; the duality of life? Life is balance. Yin and yang, light and dark, male and female. So goes the same for emotions. How can you ever truly experience true joy and happiness if you have not felt deep pain and suffering? How can life be in balance if the experience of the duality is not equal? Some people have an abundance of one or the other. Those, for example, who have everything they want in life handed to them, take it for granted unless they have felt the depth of the opposite. Success? How does one even know and comprehend what success is without failure? Maybe in theory, but not in reality. People have shared with me that Facebook makes them feel bad about themselves. They see the good fortunes of others and feel sad, lonely, empty…because they don’t have the same fortunes of fulfillment as others make a point to show off.
So my friends, don’t be fooled. A story is a story. A good story is meant to elicit emotions. Facebook is about storytelling. In short snippets, photos and emoticons. Ultimately, it is still just a story.
Blogging speaks to me, because the people on here share joy and they share pain. They contemplate life, success and pick apart the many facets of life for what they truly are. So I thank my new community for giving me an outlet. An outlet to be real and sincere. Most importantly, I learned a valuable lesson…people will show you only what they want you to see. They will show you what they want to be, not necessarily what they actually are. Their lives in real life are much different than on Facebook. They all have their personal demons to fight, as all of us do. We are all imperfect, but that is what being human means. Experiencing the duality of emotions so when we do have moments of peace, joy and success….we can truly honor and appreciate the intensity and realness. YOU and your life IS beautiful, with all the opposites, the variances, the dualities of emotions and experiences…because it’s real, because it’s LIFE. So live it – out there – amongst the elements, amongst reality. Don’t ever, EVER forget that.
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About ATrueUI am a GenXer and a Vice President, Human Resources for a marketing agency in Irvine, California. I have almost 20 years of experience in talent management and I love my job. I believe my purpose - in addition to overcoming some of my personal life lessons-is to encourage personal reflection and help others to find their path and passion. Do what you love, and you will love what you do. I oversee an award winning HR, Recruiting and Training Department (2013 American Business Award Gold for "HR Department of the Year") which provides me the opportunity to work with talented, insightful and amazing people every day.
Posted on March 11, 2014, in Personal Growth and tagged development, duality, Emotions, Experience, Facebook, friends, healing, inner strength, inspiration, joy, life, Living, pain, personal development, personal growth, power, reality, social media, Truth. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.